Wallpaper Photos: Humor

Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hasselfhoff Wednesday: Not so sure. @ Automotive World

Coffee MAYBE...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013 @ Automotive World

serpentine \SUR-puhn-teen, -tahyn\, adjective:

having a winding course, as a road; sinuous.
of, characteristic of, or resembling a serpent, as in form or movement.
shrewd, wily, or cunning.

noun:

a device on a harquebus lock for holding the match.
a cannon having any of various bore sizes, used from the 15th to the 17th century.
Skating. a school figure made by skating two figure eights that share one loop.

Serpentine made its way into English in the 1400s from the French serpentin. This term ultimately comes from the Proto-Indo-European word serp, which describes the creeping motion of a snake.

Facebook insomnia

A condition - generally found in, but not limited to, suburban teenagers - under which, afflicted persons deprive themselves of sleep in favor of repeatedly refreshing ones Facebook 'News Feed' in hopes and/or anticipation of a new 'Status Update' or 'Wall Post' from ones friends.

David: Jesus Christ! Becky, you look like shit.

Becky: Yeah I had a killer case of Facebook insomnia, didn't get to bed til 6 AM

David: Get a life, Becky.

Trivia
What end did the evil queen meet in the original version of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”?

In the 1812 Grimm Brothers fairy tale “Little Snow-White,” the queen was forced to put on a pair of red-hot iron shoes at Snow-White’s wedding, and dance until she collapsed and died.

History

Jesse James: outlaw met his end, shot in the back by Robert Ford, a member of his own gang (1882)
Marshall Plan: President Truman signed over some $13 billion in aid for post-war Europe (1948)
TV Guide: was published for the first time, with the infant Desi Arnaz, Jr., on the cover (1953)
Super Outbreak: the largest spate of deadly tornadoes to hit the US began; 148 tornadoes rampaged across 13 states (1974)
Unabomber: mail-order anti-technology terrorist Theodore Kaczynski was arrested in his cabin outside Lincoln, Montana (1996)
iPad: Apple's version of a touch-screen tablet PC was first released (2010)

Birthdays

Washington Irving 1783 - Author ("Rip Van Winkle", "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow")
Edward Everett Hale 1822
William M. (Marcy) "Boss" Tweed 1823 - Political boss, known for his Tweed "Ring" that stole millions of dollars from New York City
John Burroughs 1837 - Author
Gertrude 'Ma' Rainey 1888
George Jessel 1898 - Comedian, actor
Sally Rand 1904
Herb Caen 1916
Jan Sterling (Adriance) 1923 - Actress
Doris Day (Doris Mary Ann Von Kappelhoff) 1924 - Singer, actress
Marlon Brando 1924 - Actor ("The Godfather", "Apocalypse Now")
Don Gibson 1928 - Songwriter, singer
Miyoshi Umeki 1923 - Actress
Helmut Kohl 1930 - Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany from 1982-1998
Rod Funseth 1933 - Golfer
Jane Goodall 1934 - Anthropologist, author
Jimmy McGriff 1936
Sandra Spuzich 1937 - Golfer
Jeff Barry 1938
Jan Barry 1941 - Songwriter, singer (Jan and Dean)
Marsha Mason 1942 - Actress
Wayne Newton 1942 - Singer
Jonathan Lynn 1943 - Actor, director, writer
Tony Orlando (Michael Anthony Orlando Cassavitis) 1944 - Singer
Barry Pritchard 1944 - Musician (The Fortunes)
Bernie (Bernard) Parent 1945 - Hockey goalie
Richard Manuel 1945 - Musician (The Band)
Dee Murray 1946 - Musician (Elton John's band)
Donny Anderson 1949 - Football player
Richard Thompson 1949 - Musician (Fairport Convention)
Mel Schacher 1951 - Musician (Grand Funk Railroad)
Mick Mars 1956 - "Musician" (Motley Crue)
Alec Baldwin (Alexander Rae Baldwin III) 1958 - Actor
David Hyde Pierce 1959 - Actor ("Frasier")
Eddie Murphy 1961 - Comedian ("Saturday Night Live"), actor ("48 Hrs.", "Beverly Hills Cop", "Doctor Doolittle")
Sebastian Bach 1968 - Singer (Skid Row)
Wes Berggren 1971 - Musician (Tripping Daisy)
Jennie Garth 1972 - Actress ("Beverly Hills 90210")
Leona Lewis 1985 - Singer
Amanda Bynes 1986 - Actress

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tuesday, April 2, 2013 @ Automotive World

ha-ha \HAH-hah\, noun:

sunk fence.

Ha-ha comes from the French ha!, a common exclamation of surprise. Because ha-has are designed to be difficult to see, people would shout in surprise upon stumbling into them.

Jesus

Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions (Christians) who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people.

Jesus: Yo! Be nice to others, aight?

Trivia
What band beat out the Beatles when the two groups auditioned for a contract at the London studios of Decca Records?

Brian Poole & the Tremeloes, in 1962. Decca’s decision reportedly was based on location—the Tremeloes were from the London area, making them more accessible than the Liverpool-based Beatles.

History

Florida: Juan Ponce de León discovered this state's flowery coast, naming it for Pascua florida ("flowery Easter"); he was searching for the Fountain of Youth; the event is commemorated as Pascua Florida Day (1513)
Turin: the first Italian Parliament convened in the first capital of the new Kingdom of Italy (1860)
"The world must be made safe for democracy": with these words, US President Woodrow Wilson urged Congress to enter WWI (1917)
Falkland Islands War: Argentina invaded British-occupied Falkland Islands; Argentina's defeat within a few months discredited its military government, and civilian rule was restored the following year (1982)

Birthdays

Giovanni Casanova 1725 - Writer, philanderer
Hans Christian Andersen 1805 - Author ("The Ugly Duckling")
Frederic Bartholdi 1834
Emile Zola 1840 - Novelist
Walter Chrysler 1875 - Auto manufacturer (Chrysler Corporation)
Max Ernst 1891 - Sculptor and painter
Buddy Ebsen 1908 - Actor ("The Beverly Hillbillies", "Barnaby Jones")
Herbert Mills 1912 - Singer (The Mills Brothers)
Sir Alec Guinness (Alec Guinness de Cuffe) 1914 - Actor ("Bridge Over River Kwai", "A Passage to India", "The Empire Strikes Back", "Star Wars")
Lou Monte 1917 - Singer
Dabbs Greer 1917
Charles White 1918 - Artist
Jack Webb (John Randolf) 1920 - Director, actor
Sir Jack Brabham - Auto racer
Bobby (Roberto Francisco Gonzales) Avila 1924 - Baseball player
Carmen Basilio 1927 - Boxer
Rita Gam 1928 - Actress ("The Thief", "Midnight")
Sharon Acker 1935
Warner Mack 1938 - Country singer
Marvin Gaye, Jr. 1939 - Singer ("I Heard It Through The Grapevine")
Leon Russel 1942 - Singer, songwriter
Larry Coryell 1943
Glen Dale 1943 - Musician (The Fortunes)
Marlene Floyd 1944 - Golfer, golf commentator
Linda Hunt 1945 - Actress ("Kindergarten Cop")
Reggie (Carl Reginald) Smith 1945 - Baseball player
Don Sutton 1945 - Baseball pitcher
Emmylou Harris 1947 - Singer
Leon Wilkerson 1952 - Musician (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Pamela Reed 1953 - Actress
Debralee Scott 1953 - Actress ("Police Academy")
Ron "Horshack" Palillo 1954
Christopher Meloni 1961 - Actor ("Law and Order: Special Victims Unit")
Keren Woodward 1961 - Singer (Bananarama)
Clark Gregg 1962 - Actor
Billy Dean 1962
Bill Romanowski 1966 - Football player
Roselyn Sanchez 1973 - Actress ("Without a Trace")
Jeremy Garrett 1976
Michael Fassbender 1977
Jesse Plemons 1988 - Actor ("Friday Night Lights")

Monday, April 1, 2013

Easter MONDAY @ Automotive World

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter Egg Hunt @ Automotive World

I don't think I want to find THESE eggs..

Have a terrifying Easter @ Automotive World

Have a ROCKIN' EASTER @ Automotive World

Sunday, March 31, 2013 @ Automotive World

primaveral \prahy-muh-VEER-uhl\, adjective:

of, in, or pertaining to the early springtime: primaveral longings to sail around the world.

Primaveral hails from the Latin prima vera, literally meaning "springtime." This word shares its root with the Italian noodle dish, pasta primavera: pasta served with fresh vegetables.

talmbout

1. a conjuction of the words talking & about
2. refering to; asking a question
3. Yelled at broads when leaving the club to see whats poppin
4.to plot or scheme

1. As nicole walked out of chris's house, he yelled "what u talmbout?!?!?!?

2. What yall talmbout?

3. When Chris & D-rock saw some fat butt chicks leaving the club drunk, they holler'ed "yall aint talmbout it".

Trivia
How long did it take 9,700 participants to find 510,000 hidden candy eggs in the biggest Easter egg hunt on record?

Just one hour. The egg hunt was held in 2007 at the Cypress Gardens theme park in Winter Haven, Florida.

Holiday

Easter: Christian festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion at Calvary as described in the New Testament

History

Alhambra Decree: was signed by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella, giving Spain's Jews four months to convert or face expulsion (1492)
Eiffel Tower: was dedicated in Paris; designed by bridge engineer Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, the open-lattice wrought iron masterpiece was the tallest structure in the world at the time (1889)
Daylight Savings Time: was instituted in the US for the first time (1918)
premieres: Rogers and Hammerstein's musical Oklahoma! (1943) and Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie (1945) opened on Broadway
Newfoundland: became Canada's tenth province (1949)
Dalai Lama: Tibetan spiritual and political leader went into exile and was granted asylum in India (1959)

Birthdays

Rene Descartes 1596 - Philosopher, "I think, therefore I am"
Andrew Marvell 1621 - Poet
John Harrison 1693
Nikolai Gogol 1809 - Playwright, novelist
Edward Fitzgerald 1809 - Author
Robert Wilhelm Bunsen 1811
Mary Chestnut 1823 - Author
Sir Dugald Clerk 1854
Jack Johnson 1878 - Boxer, author
Henry Morgan 1915 - Comedian
Tommy Bolt 1918 - Golfer
Richard Kiley 1922 - Actor ("The Thorn Birds")
Leo Buscaglia 1925
Cesar Chavez 1927 - Labor leader, founder of National Farm Workers Association
William Daniels 1927 - Actor ("St. Elsewher", voice of KITT on "Knight Rider")
Gordie (Gordon) Howe 1928 - Hockey player (Detroit Red Wings, Hartford Whalers)
Lefty (William Orville) Frizzell 1928 - Country musician
Liz Claiborne 1929 - Fashion designer
Miller Barber 1931 - Golfer
John Jakes 1932 - Author ("California", "In the Big Country")
John D. Loudermilk 1934 - Country singer and songwriter
Shirley Jones 1934 - Singer, Actress ("The Partridge Family")
Richard Chamberlain 1934 - Actor ("The Bourne Identity" "The Thorn Birds")
Billy Hicke 1938 - Hockey player (Montreal Canadiens, NY Rangers, Minnesota Rangers, Baltimore Clippers, Oakland Seals, California Golden Seals, Pittsburgh Penguins)
Herb Alpert 1935 - Musician
Christopher Walken 1943 - Actor ("The Deerhunter", "Pulp Fiction")

Rod Allen 1944 - Musician (The Fortunes)

Gabe Kaplan 1945 - Actor ("Welcome Back Kotter"), comedian

Al Nichol 1946 - Musician (The Turtles)

Al Gore 1948 - U.S. Vice President under President Bill Clinton, douchebag

Rhea Perlman 1948 - Actress ("Cheers"), comedian

Mick Ralphs 1948 - Musician (Bad Company, Mott the Hoople)

Ed Marinaro 1950 - Football player (Minnesota Vikings), Actor ("Hill Street Blues")

Sean Hopper 1953 - Musician (Huey Lewis and The News)

Marc McClure 1957 - Actor ("Freak Friday")

Angus Young 1959 - Guitar player (AC/DC)

William McNamara 1965 - Actor

Pavel Bure 1971 - Hockey player

Ewen McGregor 1971 - Actor ("Star Wars: The Phantom Menace", "Moulin Rouge")

Friday, March 29, 2013

Care??? @ Automotive World

Friday, March 29, 2013 @ Automotive World

qualm \kwahm, kwawm\, noun:

an uneasy feeling or pang of conscience as to conduct; compunction: He has no qualms about lying.
a sudden feeling of apprehensive uneasiness; misgiving: a sudden qualm about the success of the venture.
a sudden sensation or onset of faintness or illness, especially of nausea.

The etymology of qualm is uncertain. It may come from the Old English cwealm, which means "torment," "pain," and "injury," but scholars believe there is not enough evidence to assume a direct connection between these terms.

man points

Points that one receives upon the completion of a distinctly manly task. More often than not, intelligent points and man points are inversely proportional.
Points received for doing stereotypical macho actions like starting a fight with a professional boxer, taunting someone to throw a dart at your face, lighting a fart on fire, or holding a scorching object in your hand for an extended period of time

-Dude, I totally just walked barefoot over jagged rocks.

-Wow, you really earned some major man points.

Trivia
How did the passion flower get its name?

From its symbolic connection to the passion of Christ, which was first noted in the 16th century by Spanish missionaries in South America. They believed the flower’s 10 petals and sepals represented the 10 disciples at the crucifixion; its three prominent stigmas, the nails used to crucify Jesus; its five red stamens, the wounds; and its showy corona of filaments, the crown of thorns.

Holiday

Good Friday: Christian holiday commemorating the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death at Calvary.

History

Niagara Falls: ceased falling due to an ice jam upstream (1848)
North America Act: the British parliament created the Dominion of Canada (1867)
Royal Albert Hall: was opened by Queen Victoria, dedicated to her husband and consort, Prince Albert (1871)
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus: the Ringling Brothers joined P.T. Barnum and James A. Bailey to form "The Greatest Show on Earth" (1919)
Ethel and Julius Rosenberg: US Communist couple were convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage about the atomic bomb on behalf of the Soviet Union (1951)
Vietnam War: the last US soldiers left South Vietnam (1973)
Ireland: became the first country to ban smoking in all public places (2004)

Birthdays